Jean K. Finston

August 15th, 2016

The Finstons are a loving and close-knit family and I’m proud to be a part of it. My name is Lois Gutman and my mom and Jean were first cousins in the Binswanger family. They spent some time together as children in Pittsburgh, but later were separated when they lived in different cities. Although they kept in touch, distance continued to separate them after they were both married. My family lived in Baltimore and it wasn’t until I went to college in Michigan that my mom saw the opportunity for me to get to know Jean. I loved to spend vacation time with Jean and Al. I was welcomed as a member of the family and the lapse in time over the previous years was irrelevant. Jean and Al treated me as kindly as any member of the family. My mom looked forward to Finston family events, as that was an opportunity for her to see Jean again. We were delighted to spend time together at a rare Binswanger family reunion.

Jean reminded so much of my mom. After my mother passed away in 2010, Jean felt like a surrogate mom for me. She was always interested in my life, work and social activities and my interest in her activities was mutual.

In addition to her great intellect, Jean had a rare wonderful gift. She was a wise person. Her wisdom wasn’t the sort that comes from years of advanced education or the varied experiences that life teaches, but the innate natural gift of wisdom. Her advice was wonderful, often only given when directly solicited, but always exactly right for the situation.

She was so easy and interesting to talk to, so caring and always complimentary. She was astute about business, the stock market and world news, and continued her determination to pursue lifelong learning. She had such joy in life, especially sailing on Lake Geneva as often as possible. She faced her final years not only with dignity and amazing inner strength, but with continuing joy. She felt such delight staying connected to family news, rejoicing at family weddings and eagerly anticipating the arrival of great-grandchildren. Just before she passed away, she beamed with pleasure at family photos. No matter how narrow or challenging her world became, she always focused only on the positive.

Our world is diminished with her loss. We will all hold her memory close to our hearts.

~Lois A Gutman
~cousin, Laurel

August 15th, 2016

Remarks:

Good Afternoon,

My name is Ahava, I am the eldest granddaughter. In an effort to honor my grandmother I am going to attempt to be concise, calculated, and poetic with my words. My grandma loved to write, she had beautiful penmanship and as you’ve heard; captured many of the beautiful moments in her life through well-crafted prose. I remember as a teenager grandma gifted each of us with an acrostic where she outlined through our names the character strengths she saw in each of us with examples to illustrate. In true grandma fashion, it was important to not only get the message across but for also for it to be eloquently presented.

My acrostic for my grandma JEAN

J is for Joy – my grandma found joy in all aspects of her life. From rejoicing with each of us as we accomplished major life milestones to admiring the beauty of a sea shell she brought back from her travels there were no circumstance in which grandma couldn’t find a reason to smile, even through some of her most challenging circumstances. There was one person in particular who received the biggest smiles of all and that was my grandfather. Their love and admiration for one another was unparalleled. She often told me stories of how my grandfather pursued her after meeting on a blind date, and ultimately won her over with his superior character (and persistence and charm of course). I envision their relationship as one of the greatest love stories of the 20th century. They found each other through a mutual appreciation of each other’s ethics integrity, high expectations, love of family, and sense of humor.

E is for expert– my grandmother didn’t pursue an initiative or hobby without becoming an expert at it and expected the same from us. Whether it was gardening, skippering a sail boat, predicting the stock market (for which she received many accolades that business men 40 years younger than her couldn’t muster), and as my brother remarked this morning an expert and evaluating all potential spouses. Only once a potential spouse received a full evaluation by grandma did they know they had passed the initiation period to be a part of the family.

A is for admired—I admired so many things about my grandmother. Most notably her adventurous spirit and active lifestyle. She would say that staying active not only added years to your life but most importantly life to your years. She was the most accomplished student in her yoga classes well into her 80’s and could swim across Lake Geneva with ease. Not many know but as a young girl she was an accomplished and passionate modern dancer. Grandma shared her love of dance with me and it helped to shape my love for and eventual career in the fine arts.

N is for nature – My grandma loved to be surrounded by and immersed in nature. I blame grandma for my insistence on always wanting to be next to a body of water when traveling! Grandma connected with nature through her travel adventures, where others would have turned back and been skeptical to embrace a steep cliff, a deep sea dive, a cave, or a mountain top grandma forged ahead. I realized many years ago that my grandma’s love of world travels rubbed off on my brother when we started traveling- but just a few months ago I realized how much I had internalized her spirit when my husband and I ventured off to Pennsylvania because I wanted to explore the Appalachian trail. I was about 6 months pregnant at the time and may have been advised not to traverse such terrain but I was determined to complete the adventure. We got half way through our route and it started hailing- randomly on this beautiful spring day. We debated turning back but I was afraid I’d never get to the trail if we did so we forged ahead. I felt great pride in embracing the challenge as I know my grandma would have done. Grandma was the only person I could share this adventure with, she was the only one that would be proud of my nuttiness and perseverance.

I was especially fortunate when I moved to Chicago a few years ago to get to spend a lot more time with Grandma. In my weekly visits we talked about life, she shared stories of her adventures, and planned out my life and my family members lives (I take my role as the family informant very seriously). Most importantly we got to engage in some of her favorite past times together: painting her nails, admiring the sail boats on lake Michigan, and watching the news.

When it was time to go to dinner grandma never left her room without her lipstick on (even if the residents were none the wiser), she took great care to ensure no matter the physical struggles she endured her outfits were always coordinated and her nails were always done.

Now I may not always have my nails done (though I try) I learned from grandma the importance of always holding my head up high, embracing and seeking out the adventures life has to offer and making sure that regardless of what I’m going through the importance of always putting the best version of myself forward so that the world and the people close to me know that we’re going to be alright. She asked us in her death not to dwell on our loss but to treasure and celebrate the gift her relationship has been in all of our lives. So in my grandma’s memory I challenge all of us to move through this world with confidence, power, and independence, and to handle our affairs with pride, compassion, strength, passion, and most importantly grace.

~Ahava Silkey-Jones
~Granddaughter, Jersey City

August 12th, 2016

Remarks:

My name is Ahava, I am the eldest granddaughter. In an effort to honor my grandmother I am going to attempt to be concise, calculated, and poetic with my words. My grandma loved to write, she had beautiful penmanship and as you’ve heard; captured many of the beautiful moments in her life through well-crafted prose. I remember as a teenager grandma gifted each of us with an acrostic where she outlined through our names the character strengths she saw in each of us with examples to illustrate. In true grandma fashion, it was important to not only get the message across but for also for it to be eloquently presented.

My acrostic for my grandma JEAN

J- J is for Joy ~ my grandma found joy in all aspects of her life. From rejoicing with each of us as we accomplished major life milestones to admiring the beauty of a sea shell she brought back from her travels there was no circumstance in which grandma couldn’t find a smile, even through some of her most challenging circumstance. There was one person who received the biggest smiles of all and that was my grandfather. Their love and admiration for one another was unparalleled. She often told me stories of how my grandfather pursued her after meeting on a blind date, and ultimately won her over with his superior character (and persistence and charm of course). I envision their relationship as one of the greatest love stories of the 20th century. They found each other through a mutual appreciation of each other’s ethics integrity, high expectations, love of family, and sense of humor.

E-E is for expert– my grandmother didn’t pursue an initiative or hobby without becoming an expert at it and expected the same from us. Whether it was gardening, skippering a sail boat, predicting the stock market (for which she received accolades that the business men 40 years younger than her couldn’t muster), and as my brother remarked this morning an expert and evaluating all potential spouses. Only once a potential spouse received a full evaluation by grandma did they know they had passed the initiation period to be a part of the family.

A is for admired—I admired so many things about my grandmother. Most notably her adventurous spirit and active lifestyle. She would say that staying active not only added years to your life but most importantly life to your years. she was the most accomplished student in her yoga classes well into her 80’s and could swim across Lake Geneva with ease. Not many know but as a young girl she was an accomplished and passionate modern dancer. Grandma shared her love of dance with me and it helped to shape my love for and eventually career in the fine arts.

N- nature – My grandma loved to be surrounded by and immersed in nature. I blame grandma for my mother and my instance on always needing to be next to a body of water when traveling. she connected with nature through her travel adventures, where others would have turned back and been skeptical to embrace a steep cliff, a deep sea dive, a cave, or a mountain top grandma forged ahead. I realized many years ago that my grandma’s love of world travels rubbed off on my brother when we started traveling- but just a few months ago I realized how much I had internalized her spirit when my husband and I ventured off to Pennsylvania because I wanted to see the Appalachian trail. I was about 6 months pregnant at the time and may have been advised not to traverse such terrain but I was determined to complete the adventure. We got half way through and it started hailing- randomly on this beautiful spring day. We debated turning back but I was afraid I’d never get to the trail if we did so we forged ahead. Mind you I thought the trail was a bit anticlimactic once we made it and proceeded to finish the 7-mile loop. Grandma was the only person I could share this adventure with, she would be proud of my nuttiness and perseverance.

I was especially fortunate when I moved to Chicago a few years ago to get to spend a lot more time with Grandma. In my weekly visits grandma and I talked about life, she shared stories of her adventures, and we planned out my life and my family members lives (I take my role as the family informant very seriously) Most importantly we got to engage in some of her favorite past times together: painting her nails, admiring the sail boats on lake Michigan, and watching the news.

When it was time to go to dinner grandma never left her room without her lipstick on (even if the residents were none the wiser), she took great care to ensure no matter the physical struggles she endured. Her outfits were always coordinated and her nails were always done.

Now I may not always have my nails done (though I try) I learned from grandma the importance of always holding my head up high, embracing and seeking out the adventures life has to offer and making sure that regardless of what I’m going through the importance of always putting the best version of myself forward so that the world and the people close to me know that we’re going to be alright. She asked us in her death not to dwell on our loss but to treasure and celebrate the gift she has been in all of our lives. So in my grandma’s memory I challenge all of us to move through this world with confidence, power, independence, and to handle our affairs with pride, compassion, strength, passion, and most importantly grace.

~Ahava
~Granddaughter, Jersey City, NJ

August 3rd, 2016

Sailing back and forth (and back and forth…) across Lake Geneva with “the Captain”.

~Matthew Finston
~Nephew, Washington, DC